If Only I Could Turn Back Time

The harshest irony of life is when You reach a place in your journey of life, where you always wanted to be: but realise that you never wanted that. And We think - If only we could turn back time...

When in School, I dreaded those days when the homework was aplenty and I lost my best buddy to a different bench because the teacher thought 'Why not have some fun with the rascals and just shuffle the seats!!!' So, the LLBs (The Lords of the Last Bench) all of a sudden were huddled behind their never-before-opened text books taking their place in the front bench right next to the teachers favourite, who always never lost his place - the aisle seat in the front row. 

I used to wake up with butterflies and my stomach ran as if I had buttermilk on the day of the exam. I went looking as sharp as the pencil (always with a  chance of breaking at the tip) in my pencil box, with strategically prepared topics - as I could always make out which would not come for the exam. And when I reach the class and I overhear what the bookies (not the gambling ones but the studious ones) had to say, I felt that the world was caving in as the portions left out strategically where the ones the teacher marked as 'sure questions' for the exam. - So much for my intuition. 

There were times when I thought being buried alive was better when the teacher asked a few of us 'goodfellas' to stand on the bench for knocking each other’s teeth out during the recess, or when were asked to sit in the girls' bench as a punishment because we forgot to bring the text book. Hypothetically, if it was the punishment today, then half of us won't have even bought a text book. 

Now, after two decades of school life, when life has travelled a full circle and you start teaching your kids, and we hear them say - 'Oh how we wish we were grown-ups like you, so that we don't have to go to school.' And I tell them with whatever energy and patience that is left - 'Enjoy this time. This is the best part of your life. You will only realise it when you grow up.' And as I say this, all the memories of the school and college days flash right by in front of my eyes, and I think:
If Only I could Turn Back Time.

When I was young, my favourite day used to be my birthday when my Mom would bake a cake, and I would be running to the land phone at home to hear all my uncles and aunts and cousins wishing me. And I would be over the moon if I got a gift - a Hot Wheels car or even a cricket ball - for Bday parties were unheard of then and birthday gifts were unnecessary splurging.
And when its birthday time now, I spent half a day replying to digital messages. But how I wish one would give a call. Even your bestie who used to come home, now is so muddled in his life that he sends a message along with the others. The digital world has made the world come closer but has made the hearts move apart. 
And let me not get started with the kids. Now, with my son's birthday coming up, the cake has to be of Iron-Man shape. There has to be at least 12 of their friends coming in, and the return gift has to be better than the Birthday gift. 'Phew'. And his face will light up only if he is gifted a PlayStation or an iPad or a mobile. And I think it is better for some places to be remain dark.
And I think for the sake of us parents:
If Only I could Turn Back Time.

I wanted to be a lot of personalities when I grew up. I wanted to be that uncle who climbed up the coconut tree without any support – just like Spiderman. I wanted to be that uncle who drove the boat across the lake and jumped into it and came out smiling – just like a dolphin. But the person I was most in awe of was the driver of the bus which took me to school and back home every day. Him and his steering wheel controlling the big bus with his legs pressing and kicking all the pedals – he was my idol, he was my hero. And I so wanted to grow up fast so that I could be him.
And now, when I look at him, how the driver might have been looking at us as thinking ‘how nice it was if I could be a child again and go back to school – 
If Only I Could Turn Back Time

I still remember by first day at my first job, right out of college. I wanted to be the change that I want to see in the world. I wanted to be the one who would lead the company to the next level. I wanted me and my company to make it to the Forbes list. But the best part of it was – payday. Your first salary. 
And later, after months and years went by, you realise that the only think that you looked forward to was – the payday.
And then one day, I said to myself. Enough is enough. I want to be my own boss. I will make my rules. I want to make it to the Forbes list. I want to make my company be the change the world needs to see. I want to revolutionise the way people think of entrepreneurship. 
And soon, like most of the SSEs, my growth curve was like a sine-wave. Lots of ups and downs, - but who remembers the ups when all you are thinking of are the downs, and how to recover from them. I had hit middle age crisis at a much younger age. And with this, came the most dreadful days of all – the payday; not the day when you get paid but when you have to pay the poor souls who joined you thinking they could make it to the Forbes list. Life always has a dark sense of humour and it plays a different kind of trick on you – the day you looked forward to has become the day you dread the most – month-ends and paydays. And I look up to the heavens and I sigh – 

If Only I Could Turn Back Time

I am no Stephen Hawkins or Michael J. Fox in ‘Back to the Future’ or Tony Stark in Avengers. And I know that I cannot turn back time. But thinking of all the memories makes me want to relive them. Which means I was really lucky to have a life with beautiful memories. And ten or twenty years down the road, I will surely want to relive what I am going through now, except for maybe the masks and the sanitizers.
But, without a second thought, If I could turn back time, I would definitely choose those days when I was with all my friends in school and college - who are probably reading this – and I will always cherish and relive those days over and over again.

If Only I could Turn Back Time